First post of 2011

It's my first post of 2011. There are many things to be thankful for in 2010. And I'll save that for another post. But right now, I have many questions about what I'm doing and I just feel so inadequate in every way possible.

I thought after 4 months of being in the job, I would at least know something. But after this first week of school (4 days only), I just feel so inadequate. I feel like I'm destroying the children instead of helping them. I sure am make a difference - a negative one most probably.

It seems like what I thought I knew wasn't exactly what I should be doing. I'm like there but not there. I'm taking longer than expected to adapt to working life and learning to balance work life, church life, family life, social life and a love life. It's so difficult. I kinda wanna throw in my towel...

But as I type more and more, I remember what Shron wrote in her wordpress. It's a daily learning experience and journey for teachers. We learn new skills, new methods of teaching, new short-cuts along the way. Though it's a struggle, I know I have friends struggling with me (those in the education field). And hey, maybe the children are struggling too.

Tired, adequate, useless, shameless, and whatever else will only be a temporary thing. Cause I know God has given me supportive family, friends, colleagues and boyfriend.

Just give me some time to dwell in this state of self-pity... Haha!!